Living From Behind

It's the second half and my team is down big time.  The first half of the game was ugly.  Penalties, turnovers and we just couldn't get the ball moving.  No chemistry on the field, no unity on the sidelines.  Other people's life choices have set me behind.  My own actions have paralyzed me and my team.  Paths chosen long ago are coming back to haunt me.  I feel like I have been living from behind, like I've spotted the other team 35 points before we even started the game.  I feel like I'm well into the second half and looks like there is little hope of a comeback.  I feel resigned to the loss.  I hear stories all the time about the great comeback.  They happen all the time, storybook drives and second halves of games where teams turn it around, put it together, start doing all the right things, making the right moves tactically and put in a great performance to win the game.  I'm still waiting.  But is it realistic to think that my game will also have a great comeback?  I watch sporting events, and am a huge fan of many sports because I believe it to be true.  Comebacks in sports transcend the games into life all the time as well.  Can it happen to me too?  It seems hopeless, especially after some days, a lot of days.  I do want it and I do still believe it can happen, but when? 

missing miscommunication

As I was reading a friend's blog entry today, I thought, "I need to write a reply."  In typing the reply, I could not seem to figure out how to write what I was feeling, nor communicate anything that maybe might be misconstrued.  You could say I was paralyzed by fear of what he, or someone else might think, because I miscommunicated.  I sometimes wonder if I am missing something even when I miscommunicate, by not communicating at all.  Does my silence say something entirely different?  I really do care about a lot of things and other people, so what is causing me this hesitation?  For some reason, I feel safer not communicating at all instead of the risk of communicating something incorrectly, but also losing a chance to really make a real connection with people.  I'm sure I do this with my wife, as there are times when it is so much easier to not go there because she might take it the wrong way.  And it is ten times easier to not take the chance with a friend or acquaintance.  I think there is some good reason that we all can't communicate clearly all the time, but I hate every bit of not being able to. I wonder if I'll even publish this blog entry....

Mark Prior

I read a good article today about Mark Prior, by Steve Henson of Yahoo.com.  Remember Mark Prior Pitcher for the Chicago Cubs, was supposed to be the next great thing.  He was actually really good for a few years.  He then proceeded to get hurt, and then get hurt again and again.  finally with too many surgeries, he was out of baseball.  He tried out for a few teams, but didn't make it.  He is 30 years old now, still fairly young and is pitching for a minor league team out of their bullpen.  A long way from a starting pitcher for the Cubs.  He's doing fairly well, but really he wants to pitch again in the Majors.  I can't say I blame him.  He wants to do what he loves doing. 

So there he is, started his career off with hype and ballyhoo, even did really well for awhile. Experienced injury, and the downside of the business of baseball.  Now has a changed attitude of desire just to make it back to the majors, with no expectations or presumptions, just desire.  It makes me think of marriage.  I love my wife so much, and when we got married, we thought "This will be great, we are already best friends, we can work through anything."  We experienced pain, and hurt from each other and other influences, we are figuring out that life together isn't always going to be easy or great.  and not that we have lowered our expectations of marriage, but I think, we are learning to not have expectations that since we are best friends that everything will be perfect.  What I do know is that I have that same desire that I had 14 years ago (and earlier while we were dating) to live with and share my life with her, even when it is difficult and doesn't make sense.  Even if I experience pain and hurt, because when I am with Liesl, and we experience life together, it's a little taste of perfect love and redemption - what God wants us to know about Him

Overflowing water?

During the day at work, I try to drink water. Heard so many stories about folks losing weight, feeling less tired, and all that, so I try hard to drink more water especially at work. The free cans of soda in the fridge are mighty tempting, though. I believe Coca Cola is the sweet nectar of life. Anyway, I use a water bottle most of the time. One of those Nalgene (BPA-free) reusable bottles. So I have to make sure that I clean it out every day. I drop a little dish soap in, add hot water, then close it and shake. Then I rinse out the soapy water with a strong stream of water from the faucet. In the fury of soapy water swirling and splashing in then out of the bottle, I allow it to overflow so that it also runs some soap over the rim of the bottle. A curious thing happens at this point. Although it is flowing water, a fairly heavy substance, out the top of the bottle, meaning the bottle is full, If I pull it away quickly, you’d think the bottle would still be full. I am not spilling any extra out when I pull the bottle out of the faucet stream. What is happening is that there are air bubbles in the bottle actually filling in some of the space. Pushing water out of the top. All this got me thinking if there was some metaphor that God was wanting me to see. After just reading Andrew Peterson’s blog about money and being able to support his family with his music and writing, I realized that there is some air in an overflowing bottle. The picture is that it’s ok to be able to breathe and have some level of comfort if I am to have a life overflowing to others. In order to give away what God is filling me with, He also gives me air in my life, margin, space, life in the bottle. It still allows Him to work, still allows the water to overflow, still gives from what he has given me. So I thank God today for the air to breathe and ask Him for more water to overflow.

Just Some Pictures

Thought I'd post a few of the pictures I've taken in the past several months...

Soccer has started and this was Bryce taking good care of his baby sister during Rece's game.


Yes, that is two paci's you see. we like to play that little trick...

There's a french fry in there somewhere, that's why she's soooo happy.

Slideshow

On Saturday we had a party for Keeley's 2nd birthday that was February 8th. I put together a little timeline kinda slideshow of her first 2 years.

Sledding Adventures

This past weekend in Nashville we got about 3-4 inches of snow. I know all you northerners are thinking, "That's nothing!", but for Nashville, that is more than we've had in years. And it didn't melt the next morning, another strange occurrence for the south. So, of course this means we've got to get out and play in it. I grew up where snow like this was somewhat normal, so I wasn't too anxious to get out in it, but the kids just had to be in it - lots. It started Friday, so Liesl took them out and did snow angels and just let the kids slide around some. Friday night the snow turned to sleet and so the top layer was icy. The boys discovered this quickly and started using anything they could find that might work as a sled. Several people around the neighborhood decided to slide down the hill at the top of the street. I say people using napping mats, and laundry baskets, we got out a cookie sheet and a rubbermaid container. All three of them enjoyed this for a while. So Sunday was more of the same, the snow still hadn't melted much so we decided to join some of our friends and sled at a park near their house. But before we made it there, one of their neighbors had hooked up a sled and an inner tube to his Rhino (kind of a heavy duty golf cart) and was pulling kids (and adults) up and down the street.

After making a few runs around the neighborhood, we decided to head over to the park. The park has an amphitheater with a grassy hill all around it, perfect hill for sledding. The boys were into it as fast as they could get up the hill. Liesl made several trips down with Keeley. After the first time, Keeley was so scared she didn't even want to look, so she covered her eyes and snuggled in with momma just to be able to make it down.

Don't they look beautiful?

Gatlinburg Tennessee - post leaf color change

Liesl and I and the kids took a trip to Gatlinburg Tennessee last fall for a little mini-vacation. We stayed in a cabin in the mountains. For those of you who are not familiar with Gatlinburg, it is on the edge of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. One of our favorite places to go as a family. It is about a 3-1/2 hour drive from our house.

This is pizza from a small place in Gatlinburg called Best Italian Cafe. It is really good. But the pizza is not even the best thing there. They have the best ever garlic rolls. Yummm.

Here they are making taffy. This machine is really fascinating, but simple.

View from the deck of our cabin in the morning.

The Alpine Slide at Ober Gatlinburg. It's kinda like a bobsled, but not on ice, To get up to the start, you have to take a chair lift. That was extremely scary, Liesl had Keeley with her, and was afraid Keeley would wriggle out, but she loved the sliding down part.

We made it to the 1.7 mark and back. If we had more time, maybe we could have gone longer. Besides, Keeley doesn't like to be in the backpack.

The two most beautiful girls in the world.

This is at Cade's Cove. A valley surrounded by mountains. We've gotten the same picture of the boys at roughly the same age while they were on top of the car with the mountains in the background, so we had to get Keeley's too.

Bryce and Rece became Jr. Rangers at Great Smoky Mountain National Park.

Candy Craziness

Halloween Candy. Perhaps an even scarier thought than any other shenanigans that happens around this time of year. It's fine to actually acquire the candy, but the sugar overdoses and the constant, "I want some candy..." "Can I have some candy?" is now compounded with "treat?" "pweese?" from the newest sweets addict. So after doing some impromptu trick or treating at the local outdoor mall while shopping Saturday afternoon, we dressed the kids all the way up. Bryce as Darth Vader, Rece as Optimus Prime (Transformer) and Keeley as the Sparkly Angel.

Keeley is ready to go (looking off camera thinking "Momma, where is that candy bag. I'm ready to go dominate the neighborhood!)

Bryce ended up getting invited to a friend's Halloween Party. I took him there, while Liesl took Rece and Keeley to one of his friend's neighborhood. They all loaded up with candy, with Keeley turning out to be the most hard-core Trick-or-Treater. She would not let go of her bag and with freezing hands and feet wanted to continue to fill her bag with the precious candy.

It's Pumpkin Farm Season

Every year around this time, the kids have the opportunity to go to pumpkin farms all around the area. We have a pumpkin farm fairly close to us that has free admission. Of course they make their money in other ways... Anyway, Liesl has taken them and a few times and we've got some pictures from a few of the trips.

Without Momma

With Momma, everything is OK...

Review - Where The Wild Things Are

Last Saturday, I took the boys to see "Where The Wild Things Are". The movie based on the children's book. After my wife read multiple reviews and comments about how bad and how kids shouldn't see this movie, we still went ahead with our plans. The book, by Maurice Sendak, is for relatively young kids, and is really a very short story. The charm of it mostly being the illustration and the imagination in invokes. So I wondered how Spike Jonze was going to turn a this book, which can be read in about 5 minutes into a feature length film.

My first complaint to the folks that said this movie is too scary for kids, I'm just not sure what movie you were watching. I didn't find any suspense in this movie. There's some yelling and arguing that goes on between characters, but nothing I would consider frightful. Even though the monsters are imaginary, they represent real life in that people are fallible. Folks don't get along easily in life. Humans (and monsters) are dysfunctional. That's truly the beauty of this movie. Max has a hard life, lonely and afraid, things don't work the way he wants them too. He's on the outside. Some of the same things that lots of kids face. The movie portrays very well what kids go through in life and helps the viewer to really step into the story. When Max fights with his mom, and runs away (replacing being sent to his room, in the book) It's real life. It's not some fluffy interaction that might happen on the Brady Bunch. This may be considered something kids shouldn't see, but I beg to differ. In the context of the whole movie, this is exactly what they need to see. To be able to see that parents stink sometimes, families will let them down occasionally, people, in general, are broken and suffering too. When Max runs away, and comes upon the monsters he hopes that he has found his ideal place. It turns out that everywhere he goes, no matter in real life or his imagination, people are the same. Yes, this is a sad commentary on human existence, but in the end, he decides if life is like this everywhere, then he should go back to the people that truly, and realistically love him, his mother and sister. People who he can also love back in the same way. Realizing how important they are in his life, even if they let him down sometimes.

I am so glad this movie doesn't sugarcoat real life. Did my boys get the full meaning of the theme? I'm not sure. Do I think they at least got pieces of truth through it? Definitely. I believe it was very worthwhile to bring them. And I thought the movie was brilliant.

Chicago in July

I realized that I had posted a story here before we made our trip to Chicago in July, but I never posted a follow up with pictures from our trip. So here goes. I made my pilgrimage to the Mars Cheese Castle in Kenosha Wisconsin to get the delectable cheese curds and other assorted goodies, like sausages and preserves.

Made sure I had some of the Italian perfection from Giordano's, left Keeley in good hands with Grandma Lou, and headed downtown to show the boys a few sites before heading out to US Cellular Field to watch my beloved White Sox put a beat down on the Indians. It was a great night with Liesl and the boys and glad they got to experience a great Major League Baseball game. Paul Konerko, the Whitesox first baseman, went off and had 3 homers, one of which was a grand slam, all of them prompting the score board at "The Cell" to explode with fireworks along with the deafening cheers of the crowd. The Whitesox won 10-6.

Overall it was a successful trip.

Fall Soccer Season

We are half-way through fall soccer season and both the boys are doing well. Bryce is playing a lot of offense and scoring in just about every game. He is still on the smaller side compared to a lot of the kids, but he is really starting to use his stride and speed as an advantage. He's made some fairly good friends on the team, which is always nice. Compared to last year, this year's coach is much better, we actually have practice and he calls us when games have been cancelled. You'd think that would be pretty standard, but apparently not with last year's coach.

Rece is with the same coach and most of the same teammates that he's been with for several seasons. Most of his team is now on the upper side of their age group so his team is pretty much taking care of every team by a lot. Rece has developed some really good ball handling skills and is passing better than ever. He scores a lot, but gets put on defense when he scores too much. He's also been playing goalie a lot. I love it when he plays goalie, so much that I told him if he plays voluntarily, I'd buy him some goalkeeper gloves. He's very proud of the gloves.

Next fall we have the opportunity to put both of them on the same team, which will be nice schedule-wise, but we'll see how the boys handle their own competitiveness.

Land of My Sojourn

It's fall. Makes me think of leaves falling, and dark mornings and getting cold. I also think of Rich Mullins, and how Autumn came early the year he died. So i had a great idea for a blog post. Pick my favorite Rich Mullins song and write based upon that and that will also be about things that counteract the dreariness of this season. The song is "Land Of My Sojourn" off the "A Liturgy, A Legacy And A Ragamuffin Band" album. It talks about how much he loves this earth and the story God has written here at the same time longing for heaven and all it's majesty. Here's the chorus:

Nobody tells you when you get born here

How much you'll come to love it

And how you'll never belong here

So I call you my country

And I'll be lonely for my home

And I wish that I could take you there with me

So here's a few things where I see God's unmistakable activity here in this Land of My Sojourn.

Great Smoky Mountain National Park is a place that Liesl and I have visited many times since moving here to Tennessee. It doesn't have the biggest mountains or the best views or deepest canyons. It's beauty is in it's subtlety. It's beautiful rolling hills and changing colors, no matter what the season, and abundant, visible life. It's also so accessible for us, and I so much want to experience and partake of it frequently.

The Color Green (stealing another song title) I love green. It means life and abundance and vitality to me. To see the leaves start to grow on trees, to see grass available to play soccer on, growth all around. It makes me feel alive and vibrant. Like this big world is all growing and thriving. maybe that's why I don't like Autumn very much, it means the death of all that green. Hopefully I can remember that that death always brings new life.

I often discuss with my wife why I like sports so much and maybe this is a longer discussion than I can pose here, but I've gotta say something about how awesome sports are. Between the redemption of a winning touchdown when someone fumbled early in the game to being part of something larger than myself and something people of totally opposite religious, political and financial stances can come together and cheer and celebrate and also agonize together in a way like no other... What an amazing experience.

When I hear stories about military service I marvel and feel slightly jealous of the brotherhood that is gained by these men. After going through sometimes traumatic event together and realizing they were a team and each person had something to contribute. What a great picture. Something I long to exist in my life.

I am so glad to know that this is not a complete list or even a complete experience of any of these examples. I do hope for more of these here on earth and know just a little that they will be fully available in heaven.

Keeley Words

Over the past several weeks Keeley's vocabulary has greatly increased. She's finally understanding the value of verbal communication. Although at this point most of her words are still "repeat words" meaning we tell her to say something and she repeats it. She does understand a lot of them. So here's a brief list of the most popular ones.

"Momma" is most popular, she loves her Momma

"football" is one of my favorites. When she sees the Tennessee Titans logo she will say "football". (although it's debatable at this point whether that's actual football with how bad they're playing)

"Bubba" is Bryce

"Ree" is Rece

"Kee Kee" is Keely, but also a nickname we call her sometimes, so that one is accurate.

"coke" yummmy

"kitty" "doggy" she loves animals

"broccoli" not quite clear yet, but Liesl loves the way she says it, it's really cute

"fishy" most of the time it's because she wants goldfish crackers

It seems she learns something new every day, especially with two crazy older brothers who teach her all kinds of boy stuff, yikes!

What a Gift

Since it's been raining so much the past few weeks, I haven't been able to mow my lawn. Well, I haven't wanted to either, so it was kind of a good excuse. But since it's been dry for a few days, I knew it was coming. Not only did I know that mowing was coming, but with all the rain, the grass was really long and thick. Since Sunday was wasted due to my Titans loss depression, I forced myself into a Monday night date with the mower. All day at work, I was dreading coming home to grass up to my knees (almost). Not that my job is physically demanding, but it takes something out of me that I just hate to have to come home and work some more. I wish I could look at mowing like the guy in this picture, but it just doesn't do it for me. We've got several trees, a hill on the side of our yard, and a stupid chain link fence that the mower always catches on. It usually takes me about an hour and a half when it's not super long.

So to my great surprise when I drive up the road on my way home from work, I see a freshly mowed lawn! Wow, what a gift. my awesome wife took her time when Keeley naps to mow the lawn to take the chore off of me. I know I didn't tell her or show her how much I appreciated her doing it for me, so I hope this blog post makes up for it a little. Thanks baby! I love you.

Yikes! It Has Teeth

After reading "North! Or Be Eaten" by Andrew Peterson, I was even more pleasantly surprised than after reading "On The Edge Of The Dark Sea Of Darkness", the first book in his Wingfeather Saga. If you read the first one, you'll know it is packed with adventure and mystery. Andrew bumps it up a notch this time in "NOBE" by adding even more suspense and emotionality. The story is every bit as good as the first one, but interconnects elements of deep personal stories of some of the characters. How several of the characters respond based upon what they've faced in the past and what that implies for their future is much more prominent this time around.

Some of the themes of facing fears and succeeding in the midst of complete chaos and apparent defeat really is what connected with my story and what really kept me attached to the book. Even though it seemed each chapter ended with yet another crisis, I could see the whole story was being written and woven together like there was a desperate need for redemption. While I don't ever think I'll be chased by lizard people or hounded by two-legged wolves, we all face sorrow and affliction. I believe this story is not only a reflection of my desires in my own life but a metaphorical picture of what our journey here on earth looks like.

I really loved this book. I am slightly hesitant to let my kids read it, (9 and 8) because of the creepiness factor. It really hit on some of my own fears, but I will probably let them decide for themselves. I can't wait for book 3!

"North! Or Be Eaten" review soon

I was given the opportunity to read Andrew Peterson's book and be part of the official "North Or Be Eaten" Blog tour. I am just about finished with the book and so I will be posting my review next week. Here's a little info on the book and author.

Summary:
Janner, Tink, and Leeli Igiby thought they were normal children with normal lives and a normal past. But now they know they’re really the Lost Jewels of Anniera, heirs to a legendary kingdom across the sea, and suddenly everyone wants to kill them.
Their escape brings readers to the very brink of Fingap Falls, over the Stony Mountains, and across the Ice Prairies, while villains galore try to stop the Igibys permanently. Fearsome toothy cows and horned hounds return, along with new dangers: a mad man running a fork factory, a den of rockroaches, and majestic talking sea dragons.
Andrew Peterson’s lovable characters create what FantasyBookCritic.com says made Book One “one of the best fantasy novels in a very long time,” and Book Two contains even more thrills, exploring “themes universal in nature, ranging from the classic good versus evil, to the importance of family, and burdens of responsibility.”

Author bio.:
Andrew Peterson is the author of On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, Book One in the Wingfeather Saga, and The Ballad of Matthew’s Begats. He’s also the critically-acclaimed singer-songwriter and recording artist of ten albums, including Resurrection Letters II. He and his wife, Jamie, live with their two sons and one daughter in a little house they call The Warren near Nashville, Tennessee. Visit his websites: http://www.andrew-peterson.com/ and http://www.rabbitroom.com/

Successful Trip

Bryce, Rece and I took a trip last weekend to Cincinnati for Rece's Birthday celebration. What a trip! It was about a four hour drive, so I'm glad the boys now each have their own Nintendo DSi. When we got to the hotel (actually in Covington, KY) we checked in quickly and started the 1.5 mile walk across the Ohio River and to Great American Ballpark. Our seats were in left field, right next to the foul (fair) pole. In the second row. Manny Ramirez was playing left field right in front of us. So at one point between innings we got up to grab a bite to eat and just as we did and I turned my back, Manny threw his warm-up ball into the crowd. I noticed a ball land at my feet and in my stupor, I just stared at it. Someone else picked it up before I could figure out what happened. Then as we were walking in the concourse, a Reds player wrapped a homer around our foul pole. Thankfully, upon watching the replay, some folks on the other side of the camera pit (right at the foul pole got the lucky bounce, so I don't think I would have been able to get that one. Anyway, we loved the game, even though the Reds lost. It was entertaining. We ended up taking a taxi back to the hotel, and getting more to eat, then we went swimming in the hotel pool. The boys were more than happy to just relax in the hot tub, but we got a little bit of "dad throwing the boys" in the big pool too. It was time to go to bed, so we all snuggled up together in the king-sized bed in our room. I set the alarm kind of early, knowing that we wanted to do some more swimming before we checked out and wanted to make sure we hit Skyline Chili before we left. So overall we had a really good time, I really cherished the time with my boys, I hope we can have more adventures like this one.