To Boldly Go Where Many Men Have Gone Before

I spent last weekend hanging out with a couple of friends and had some time to chat about life. One of the things that came up as we talked about life and the brokenness of the world, was Martin Luther's quote of "Be a sinner and sin boldly...". Of course there is a more important part right after that quote of "but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly". But that first part is what really got me thinking. What is Luther talking about? Should I really sin intentionally? should I bask in the knowledge that God has already saved me? Should I be careless?

I believe that what Luther is talking about is when I sin, I shouldn't try to hide it or be fake about it. There's no sense in trying to hide the truth about my life. Yes, I will feel guilt and shame about it. I will try to not do it again. Hiding it would only help me to prolong it, do it again, and not allow people who care about me to speak into my life or be with me in it and help me through it. I also believe if I am real about my fallen-ness It allows me to seek healing more expeditiously. The quicker i hit the bottom, the faster I realize how much I need Jesus, and will surrender to him. God is big enough for my sin. no matter how ugly it is. This whole process gives me freedom. Not freedom to sin more, but freedom not to sin. It's not about rules, it's about letting God transform my life.

wonder what, wonder if

As some of you may know, the past several weeks have been kind of crazy to say the least for Liesl and I. While enjoying a pleasant dinner with the kids and Liesl one night, a few weeks back, Liesl simply says, "By the way, I'm late." She wasn't late for a meeting or anything. Her time of the month was late. She took a home pregnancy test the following day. While I'm sitting in a meeting at church that evening, she calls me hysterical. I knew right away. She was pregnant. We were both so scared. Really, really scared. Over the next few days in chatting through this whole pregnancy thing with God, I started to feel some peace about it. If God really wants me to have another child, He will prepare me. He has already made me into a better man and a better dad through my marriage and with my kids. I can do this again. He has made me capable. It was also something that I grew to experience more joy through. This is a precious life! I was surprised after the birth of each of my children so far, that God increased the amount of love I had to share with them. He would certainly do it again. Yet, I was still scared. A few short weeks later, the baby miscarried... How could we go from one to the other so quickly? My fear turned to sadness. Great, intense sadness. Which is where I am today. So here I sit, wonder what he/she would have been like, wondering if there was anything I did, or didn't do. Even through my life goes on, it feels different. Just a little lonelier, like I am missing someone who would be here. Like I was meant to give someone part of me, that I am no longer needing to give, but I still want to.

Burgess Falls State Park

Last Sunday, I took the boys on a hiking adventure to Burgess Falls State Park, near Sparta Tennessee. I was looking to get them out of the house for a little activity so I looked for a close state park. For some reason I'd never heard of this park, and from the pictures on the website, I was not terribly impressed. But what the heck. So we took the hour and 15 minute drive east on I-40 and then turned off into the land of nowhere. There were very few signs for this place and my GPS told me where it was supposed to be, but it wasn't. So we kept driving. Another few miles down the road we found it (we were about to turn around). Immediately after getting out of the car we could hear the sound of rushing water. Yes, just a few yards from the parking lot. The map I had said the trail was about 1.5 miles long. I was thinking, "easy trail, it's probably even paved..." I'm glad I had my hiking boots on. It was fairly steep and very rocky. and in several places, if we took a few wrong steps, we might have fallen off the bluff and into the falls. There were three main falls and the last was the most impressive. We actually could hike down the cliff to the bottom of the third falls and sit where the spray cooled us off. It was very steep and me, being afraid of heights, was terrified in one part where there is a set of metal stairs with a cage around it that scales the cliff wall. Once at the bottom, it was just large boulders that we climbed over to get to the bottom of the falls. It was truly amazing, the power of the water rushing over the top of the cliff and hitting the bottom. The wind was strong simply from the water coming over the 136 foot drop. after climbing back up the freaky stairs, we found another trail that had some nice views over the back side of the park that looked out over the lower river, past the falls. It was beautiful. I'm so glad that I got to spend time with my boys Even though they didn't want to go hiking originally, they were both asking when we could come back.

From Collages

Chicagoland

Tonight we are headed up to the Chicagoland area to see some friends and family for a long weekend. It's so funny, I always tell people I'm going to "Chicago" and they always ask what we're going to do in Chicago. Then I have to explain that I'm actually going to the suburbs some of which are really no where close to Chicago (Woodstock...) Anyway, since I had an extra day off work for observance of the 4th of July, we thought we'd take advantage and make the trip. We are going to be stopping in Louisville, KY to visit our newly married friends, Brad and Rachel so that will split up the drive a little. And it'll be good to hang out with them. Then off to Chicago Suburbs on Friday morning. Although we never go into Chicago, one of the regular highlights is to get some real PIZZA. Although the southern food is great in Nashville, the pizza, for the most part, stinks. I will at some point during this trip, get Giordano's Pizza. The best pizza in all the land. We will also make a trip to Culver's, home of the Butterburger. And last, but not least will be the yearly pilgrimage to the Mars Cheese Castle in Kenosha, Wisconsin for the dairy indulgence of cheddar cheese curds.

Yummmmm.

Anyway, we do look forward to seeing family and friends also. Really, we do. Somehow we have always avoided going downtown with the kids, so this year, I'm changing things up. We are going to visit US Cellular Field, the home of The 2005 World Champion Chicago Whitesox. Since they've been on a little mini- hot streak lately, it should be even better. I love the Whitesox and I am so looking forward to this great opportunity to bring my boys. At the very least we should have a few good pictures and a blog entry out of the whole thing. Hopefully Jermaine Dye can "put one on the board" for us and light up some fireworks during the game.