As I was reading a friend's blog entry today, I thought, "I need to write a reply." In typing the reply, I could not seem to figure out how to write what I was feeling, nor communicate anything that maybe might be misconstrued. You could say I was paralyzed by fear of what he, or someone else might think, because I miscommunicated. I sometimes wonder if I am missing something even when I miscommunicate, by not communicating at all. Does my silence say something entirely different? I really do care about a lot of things and other people, so what is causing me this hesitation? For some reason, I feel safer not communicating at all instead of the risk of communicating something incorrectly, but also losing a chance to really make a real connection with people. I'm sure I do this with my wife, as there are times when it is so much easier to not go there because she might take it the wrong way. And it is ten times easier to not take the chance with a friend or acquaintance. I think there is some good reason that we all can't communicate clearly all the time, but I hate every bit of not being able to. I wonder if I'll even publish this blog entry....
